I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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