i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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