There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
