I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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