god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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