we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
