They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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