Are we in a gay sports bar?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.