Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.