Porn is love you can see.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
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Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way