I like to think it a success when the cops are called
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
