Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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