dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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