quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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