can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
