Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
