His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
