if you like me you must not know who I am
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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