a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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