a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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