Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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