dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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