I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize