Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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