I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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