2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
