Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
your penis
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
