idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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