..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
