I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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