Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize