The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
