i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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