i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
