Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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