i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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