I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
