hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
