I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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