these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
