Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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