sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
