puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
