yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize