i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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