Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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