he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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