i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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