Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
