I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
