he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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