Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize