Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
