that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
