I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
