Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
