So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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