dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
