I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
