what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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