What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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