Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm way too hungover for life right now
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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